MAY 14th: THE F WORD

There’s a lot of two-faced celebs about.

But I never saw this one coming.

So step forward one Gordon Ramsay.

Now I’m a big fan of the big man. He talks no nonsense. He puts ordinary people trying to run businesses back ont he straight and narrow when they are failing. He’s a lovely family man, despite the many completely unfounded rumours.

But after watching last night’s F Word, he’s gone down in my estimation.

It was a great show and, at the end, he previewed next week’s episode, by revealing how he has a campaign to get Britain eating healthily. ‘Healthy food doesn’t have to be boring,’ he says, over footage of lard arses walking along the High Street.

Only moments earlier on the show, he was entertaining a bunch of wobble bottoms who share the surname Corden.

Mummy Corden – more chins than a Chinese phonebook – and sister Corden (the sort of girl you don’t dance with you dance among) tried to keep their waists from slopping over the dining table as the Boy Corden (current flavour of the month) stuffed his face with exotic food.

Let’s get Britain eating healthily, eh, Gordon.

One by one, Gord dropped a morcel of bizarre Chinese food into blindfolded James Corden’s mouth. Ducks’ tongue was a treat – chicken feet was not so well received.

The only surprise of the night was that the gut bucket actually spat some of the food out. I’d have thought any port in a storm.

Why is it TV is so devoid of ideas that the same old people keep going around and around. If it’s not Jimmy Carr, it’s now Alan Carr and now James Corden.

Corden bleu? Corden off, more like!

Gordon also had Dame Geri of Halliwell on, trying to make meatballs. Naturally, she messed up. What would you expect of a diva who charges half a million quid to entertain troops who are giving their lives for this country.

And the waste of skin otherwise known as Janet Street Porter is trying to rear two veal calves. Rolling in straw, drinking out of a bucket and s****ing in the barn, Street Porter really should have known better on national TV. As for the calves, they’ve got six weeks of have JSP for a mummy. If that voice doesn’t send them running to the abattoir for a quiet life, nothing will.